The Art of Writing a Message That Will Be Read More Than Once

Most messages are written to be understood once. They’re informational — here’s what I wanted to say — and once that information has been received, the message has done its job.

But some messages are meant to be returned to. To be read again on different days, in different states, by the same person living a slightly different version of their life. These messages have to be written differently.

Write for the hard days, not the easy ones

The first time someone reads your message, they’re probably in a relatively stable place — receiving something with a mix of warmth and appreciation. But the message that will matter most is the one that hits them on a hard day. The day they’re doubting themselves. The day the grief comes back unexpectedly. The day the distance feels insurmountable.

Write for that day. What do you want them to have access to when they most need it?

Be specific

Generic messages feel warm in the moment and fade quickly. Specific messages — ones that reference something real and particular about the person or the relationship — have staying power because they can’t be mistaken for something meant for someone else.

“You are strong” is forgettable. “I’ve watched you carry things most people couldn’t even pick up, and you’ve done it without asking for anything in return. That’s not nothing. That’s everything.” — that stays.

Don’t try to say everything

The best messages are focused. One true thing, said clearly. Trying to cover everything dilutes the impact of the most important thing. Pick the thing that matters most and say that. Let it be enough.